In today’s post I wanted to share a few tips with you on how and where to find a girlfriend.
I’m no dating guru, but I’ve dated quite a bit these past few years and I have a really hot girlfriend, so hopefully any single guys reading this post should find this information helpful.
First off, I want to make the point that this post is specifically for grown men over 18, and this post will probably be most relevant for guys who are at least 25, if not 30 or 40+.
One of the biggest flaws I see with a lot of the dating and pick up guides out there is that they really don’t take into account that getting a girlfriend requires different things depending on what stage of life you are in. What works for a 12 year old boy in middle school, is not the same as what is going to work for a divorced 45 year old man with two kids and a mortgage.
Secondly, this post is going to talk about getting a girlfriend, as in a serious long-term relationship girlfriend. If you are just looking for info on how to get some action and attract more women, checkout this review I did of “The Obsession Method” as that may be more applicable…
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Ever Find Yourself Asking The Universe “Why Can’t I Get A Girlfriend?”
It can seem so unfair. You look around and see all these lame, schleppy dudes who have hot, sexy, cool chicks as their girlfriends, but for some reason, you struggle to find a woman who you can really “click” with in order to start a relationship.
I know, I’ve been there. It sucks. The trick, as I see it is to get over any negative thinking ie. a victim complex or any self-limiting beliefs that you are somehow “unworthy” of having an attractive girlfriend.
This kind of inner-game stuff goes much deeper than anything that can be discussed in a blogpost, but it is critically important, because it’s VERY hard to get, or keep anything in life that you really feel that you don’t deserve.
So, if you are feeling bad about yourself, or unworthy in anyway, definitely work on that first. See a shrink if you need to, focus on what you Do like about yourself, and be proactive about raising your self-esteem.
Once you’ve started making progress with that, here are the next steps I recommend for getting a girlfriend:
1) Work On Refining Your Image
Like it or not, women will “judge a book by it’s cover” when it comes to selecting the men they want to date. Thinking that you can get a perfect “10” girlfriend when you look like a bum, and sleep in mom’s basement is just ridiculous. This being the case, it is important to put your best foot forward and project an attractive image that women will be drawn to.
This doesn’t mean that you need to be super good looking, rich or drive a hot car. There are lots of guys who have all those things, but still can’t get a loyal girlfriend.
Instead, just make sure that you understand what kind of “image” the kind of women you want to date are attracted to, and then replicate that. For instance, a lot of young women are very attracted to the actor Ryan Gosling. So look at how he dresses, and copy the style that he is rocking.
One of the most important things when it comes to your image is to have a mature adult style. So stop wearing baggy jeans, sneakers, hoodies, and that trashy stuff that makes you look like a teenager and opt for fitted jeans, boat shoes, nice boots, v-neck and tailored button ups. These small fashion changes alone will have a great impact on the way that you are perceived by women.
2) Find A Way To Meet More Women
This seems obvious, but if you want to find a quality girlfriend, then you need to be meeting, and practicing your game on a lot of women, all the time.
Sadly, most guys meet very few women on a weekly basis, and as a result they go on few dates, and it takes them a long time to get a girlfriend.
There are a lot of places to meet girls. If you don’t already have a dating profile on a site like match.com, then you definitely should set one up, but don’t rely solely on that. You need to meet girls in real life too.
My other top recommended places for meeting women are speed dating, networking events, house parties, concerts, and just walking around town. One of the easiest ways to improve your dating life right away is to work on developing your social circle. The more friends you have and spend time with, the more women you will end up being introduced to. And it is always easier to get dates with women who have been introduced to you by friends, because your friends will talk you up to them.
3) Don’t Act Desperate
The #1 reason most guys can’t get girlfriends is because they act like desperate losers. Trust me on this one – women can SMELL desperation on a man, and it is a complete and utter turn off.
Unfortunately many men do things unknowingly, that come off as very desperate. For instance most guys are bad a texting girls, and will send texts that make them look like they are desperate for a date and needy for validation. One of the biggest mistakes is texting a girl too much, or being weird about it if she takes a long time getting back to you.
The key is just to be CHILL about the whole process. Ask yourself “what would I do if I was already banging this chick and had 3 other girls that I was seeing on the side?” Thinking about things through this frame will help you to relax and approach your interactions in a calm, studly way.
4) Use Her Obsession Story To Make Her Fall In Love
Recently, a top NYC dating coach discovered something that he refers to as an “Obsession Story” that is programmed into every woman’s DNA from birth. The basic idea is that there are certain things that I guy can do to trigger this obsession story and get a woman obsessing over you and wanting to be your loyal lady-friend. I was skeptical when I first heard about this, but the psychology behind this is quite real and very effective, and I think it is definitely a good idea to use this as it give you a strong “upper hand” when you are with a woman you think has girlfriend potential.
You can read more about about a complete system that’s been designed to use a girl’s Obsession Story to make her fall for you here.
Hope these tips were helpful!
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